A Taxonomy of Barnacles
By Galt Niederhoffer
Reviewed by Laurence Dumortier
A Taxonomy of Barnacles is Galt Niederhoffer's paean to eccentric domesticity and sibling rivalry. Though reminiscent of both Salinger's Glass family and Wes Anderson's Royal Tenenbaums, Niederhoffer's clan is even more wildly over-the-top in its weirdness and charm. The elaborate set-up is this: at a Passover seder patriarch Barry Barnacle, hosiery magnate, entreats his children, the six girls, Bell, Bridget, Beth, Belinda, Beryl and Benita, and their adopted brother Latrell, to compete for the Barnacle fortune by best ensuring the survival of the family name.
The book is jammed full to the brim with oddball characters (whose traits give the chapters their delightful titles; "Excellent Peripheral Vision," "Hearing Better Than Some Wolves," "Predisposition to Flight," etc), plot-points, and rococo phrasing ("Of course, Trot's oddly chipper response begged an obvious question: Did his incongruous complacency result from the fact that disappointment fit into his perverse gestalt, or rather from the fact that he did not actually miss Bridget." is a sample sentence.) Though the whole thing threatens at times to lose its stuffing, and the competition seems almost beside the point - only Benita and Belinda seem to really care about the outcome, and Latrell is engaged in his own, quite moving, search for his own parents - it sends the characters on madcap journeys, both literal and metaphysical, through New York City and the hidden passageways of the family's Upper East side building. Central Park becomes a true wonderland and almost Shakesperean setting for romantic sparring, offering the zoo as a scene for two nighttime proposals. Niederhoffer's affection for New York is that of the native and careful observer. She has studied the metropolis under every season and time of day and knows well the way light falls on its streets and monuments to create magic.
Indeed, A Taxonomy of Barnaclessucceeds best as a love letter to New York. Here are two of the novel's lovers on a nighttime walk, the city appearing almost as a third character:
Despite a somewhat heated debate over the best bar in the neighborhood, they opted instead for a stroll and, heading south on Fifth Avenue, enjoyed the slightly colder air that emerged from the trees in the park. They paused at the steps of the Arsenal to examine a clump of tulips, their green buds, still yet to blossom, threatening to burst from excitement. Then, for no particular reason, they ignored their parents' lifetime mandate, and turned down the steps to enter the darkened park.
They sat for a while on the long, low bench that faces the Central Park Zoo, straining to hear the sounds of the sleeping animals. To their right, the time-weathered Delacorte clock meandered past one o'clock. And, remembering time for the first time in hours, they simply stared at the aged clock, marveling at the power it had had over them when they were children.
In her wry, unsentimental way, Niederhoffer conjures the unexpected dewy hopefulness of Springtime in the city. Her characters, witness to this loveliness, are transformed, order is restored, and life, loopy as it sometimes is, goes on.
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